Do you remember when you were younger and you would walk past a mess in your house that you hadn’t made? It wasn’t your responsibility, so you weren’t going to put forth the effort to clean it up. Finally, your mom would ask you to clean the mess. When I was younger, such scenarios played out in my home from time to time and the following statement was often made by me or one of my siblings, “I didn’t make the mess, he did.”
I’m so glad that I am not a child anymore and that I no longer behave that way….Or, do I?
Have you ever found yourself playing this game when it comes to addressing a problem between you and someone else?
For example, your wife/husband has done something that upset you and the two of you just had a verbal WWIII. The war is over, the wounds are fresh, and the anger is still simmering. You are angry that he/she did what they did and now you are impatiently waiting on them to come and clean up the mess. When all of a sudden, a “small still voice” begins speaking to you and nudging you towards making the first step. “But, Lord, I didn’t make this mess! She started it. It’s his fault. He needs to come to me and apologize! Why do I ALWAYS have to clean up the mess?”
In the greater scheme of things, such as God being glorified in your life, is it really that big of a deal? The longer the problem festers, the greater opportunity the Devil has to continue to drive the two of you apart. The longer you wait, the harder it gets to really deal with the issue. The longer you wait, the easier it gets to forget about it and to continue in the “Crazy Cycle” that Dr. Eggerichs talks about in his book and at his blog, Love & Respect.
When there is sin in your life and your relationship with your Heavenly Father is not what it should be, whose fault is it? YOURS. Have you ever noticed that it is God, through the Holy Spirit, that comes to us to fix the problem and restore the relationship? Adam & Eve where hiding in the garden…God was seeking them out.
Just as maturity and responsibility would say that you should clean up the mess on the floor, the same is true in your marriage and other relationships.